Running an RPG via Zoom

Not really toy soldiers, but I'm sure some of my regular readers will find this vaguely interesting. My normal RPG group have been meeting via Zoom for Pathfinder sessions and it gave me the idea of running a one shot RPG via Zoom that took advantage of the fact that we were meeting remotely.

We ran it over two nights and it seemed to work quite well. The players could direct message me some of their actions without the rest of the players knowing what they were up to. I drew a couple of maps of the spaceship plan for the players to see and one of the group who is better than I with CAD converted it to a handy on screen display where we could move icons on the screen to show where the players were in the ship.  My group seemed to enjoy it, the only issue was I didnt make it clear enough to them that I was expecting them to be picking on each other rather cooperating. My group are a nice bunch and maybe a little too nice too each other so to begin with they were all very civil to each other. Although once nudged enough they were bashing each other over the head in true self survival fashion. Alliances were made and broken.

Here are my notes I made before starting. Maybe someone else might find them useful or inspirational. If any of these notes make no sense, feel free to get in touch via the message function at the bottom of the webpage or comment.
 

 

Rules.

Each character has the following stats:

Life points.

You start with ten. If this reaches zero you are dead.

Sanity points.

You start with ten. If this reaches zero you may as well be dead, you are just a dribbling wreck. Taking a sanity check, roll a D6, get a 1 or 2, lose a sanity point.

After all players have had a couple of turns to get complacent, GM rolls a D6 after everyone’s turn, on a six, a random event occurs.

Players can only ever carry three items at a time. (these suits have no pockets.)

Player turns.

Players can move from one section of the map to an adjacent one. And then take one “public” action, this is an action they declare over group chat. They can also take one “private” action, this is an action they declare by private messaging the GM. If they make a private action, the GM rolls for the result.

(Nb the players are allowed to work out their transponder is detachable and therefore publicly they could declare they are staying in a room but in fact they move.)

Taking an action.

Roll a D6:

1, fail take a sanity check, 2-3 fail, 4-5 succeed, 6 extremely succeed.

If at disadvantage, roll two dice, pick lowest. If advantaged, roll two dice, pick highest.

When the game time ends, the player with the highest life and sanity combined left is the winner. If the stowaway is not discovered, they gain a bonus ten points.

1.       You wake up in a white pod. The see through roof of the pod vooshes open and air rushes in.

You realise you have a tube down your throat and begin to gag as automated systems begin to retract the breathing pipe. A voice begins to play through hidden internal speakers.

“Please stay calm, you are waking from hypersleep and may be slightly disorientated. This is perfectly normal. Again, please stay calm and allow the automated systems to perform their tasks.”

The pipe retracts, hyperdermic needles on the end of arms appear inside the pod and inject your thighs and upper arms.

When they all climb out:

A vid screen comes to life and a woman in flight attendant uniform appears.

“Good Morning on the Interstellar Covid-19, ship time zero 700 hours, the first of Glarberry 2399. You have been awakened from hypersleep because we have a minor incident on the way to your destination. You have been travelling now in hypersleep for 14 months and so it is not unusual to experience some short term memory loss. You should begin to start having some memory return in the next few moments. When you do, could the Captain please place their hand on the scanner below the screen to begin the briefing.”

Briefing.

All they know is:

They are on this ship and just woken up.

Two of the party are Grurgan (there has only just been peace declared with the planet Grurg)

None of the party are the Captain if they try the scanner

They are in the hypersleep chamber room and there is a map on the wall that matches a map on a screen on their wrists. Each screen shows a number of different coloured dots equal to the number of people which indicate which room they are currently in. If they examine their uniforms, they will discover a transponder clipped to their chest which has an led light the same colour as on the map to show which colour they are. If they wish to manipulate them, yes they can remove them, or smash them to turn them off and it will affect the map indicating their presence. But why would they want to do that? There is also one additional blip on the map that matches none of their colours. That blip is in the Engine Room.

Characters.

1.       Captain Zenova (Deceased)

Human 40 years old. Been with Space fleet since 14 as a cadet. Expert at close combat, giving orders and singing Gilbert and Sullivan.

2.       First Officer Blart

Grurgan (Green 8ft tall strong lizard like humanoid). Adopted by human parents. First Grurgan member of Space Fleet since the truce two years ago. Expert at close combat, space walks and the nose flute.

3.       Navigation Officer Morris

Human. This is Morris’s last mission before retirement. Navigation expert. Ship squash champion. Has a bionic leg.

4.       Engineer Smgrthh

Grurgan (Green 8ft tall strong lizard like humanoid).  Known as Smith to the rest of the crew.  Really good with mechanical things. Only recently joined Space Fleet as part of the new peace accord.

5.       Technician First Class Nancy

Human. Part of the Engineer crew. Handy with a spanner as well as a lasergun.

6.       Technician Second Class Strange

Human. Part of the Engineer crew. Also ship cook. Not an excellent cook but knows how to operate the food replicator. Plays the Guitar.

7.       Doctor Zeus

Human. Medical Officer. Expert medic (obviously) hand with a lazer scalpel also means handy at picking locks. Has a nut allergy

8.       Technician Second Class Bartlett

Human. The most remarkable thing about Technician Second Class Bartlett is there is nothing remarkable about Bartlett whatsoever. The most non descript member of Star fleet. Bartlett’s only distinguishable skill seems to be a natural ability to lull anyone into complete and utter boredom within five minutes of their company. Has a nut allergy.

X.                  Castaway Pudsey.

You are not actually a member of the crew. You snuck on to the ship after all the crew were already in hypersleep. You are actually a castaway called Pudsey on the run from the law. When you snuck in to the hypersleep chamber room, there was a spare empty pod. You know enough about the technology that you injected chemicals into the mix so that the crew would be have temporary amnesia for a significantly longer time than normal but not permanently. You hoped just long enough that the ship would reach it’s destination, you could slip away before anyone’s memory returns and escape scot free. Now your plans are scuppered by the crew being woken up early and you don’t know why.

(expert with chemicals and sneaking)

Rooms on ship.

1.       Hypersleep Chamber

The starting room. There is a computer that requires the captains handprint to unlock. This will work even with the dead captains hand however it may be procured. If unlocked, it produces the crew manifest and the nature of the emergency:

Emergency: A minor fracture in the fuel tanks has meant a slow pressure leak of juxtion IV means we aren’t going to make our destination unless we jettison some extra weight. The cargo is far too valuable to the company, so the Captain is advised to jettison a crew member.

2.       Engine Room (orange lock)

This room is pitch black, no light. There is a crowbar, a red Keypass and a dead body here. If the crew investigate they will discover it is the Captain. There is a locked locker with two random basic items and one weapon in it. There is also a giant 3D printer that will create artificial Simuloid bodies.

3.       Sleeping quarters A

Some bunk beds and three lockers. Not locked. Each with one random basic item. Also a guitar, orange moonboots, orange keypass and a nearly finished jigsaw of the spaceship. Stuck to the wall a photo of two random crew members in fishing gear.

3    Sleeping quarters B

More bunk beds and three lockers. Not locked. Each with one random item. Also, an exercise bike, hair dryer, swimming certificate and a VR headset. If use the VR headset, lose a sanity point. 

4.       Mess

Usual cooking paraphernalia. There is at least one useable knife here and a noseflute. There is a note with the names of the crew written down:

Zenova, Blart, Morris, Smith, Nancy, Strange, Zeus. (Smith and Blart have got Stars next to them.) In the fridge is a Tupperware tubb with a traditional Grurgan salad with a post it note “hands off, Smith.”

There is also a food dispenser with a button to randomly dispense food items.

5.       Armoury

There is also a weapon dispensing machine. Push the button and it will keep on dispensing a weapon. It is up to the GM how many weapons it dispenses. There is also a packet of Bourbon biscuits (+2 health) and a flashlight. 

6.       Captains Cabin (Red lock)

Hidden under the bed is a locked cabinet with a random weapon.  In the unlocked cupboard is two random items. On the desk is the crew list with descriptions.

7.       Squash Court

There is a blackboard with two names and scores. Morris and Smith. Morris is winning.

8.       Hydroponics bay

Lots and lots of plants. If hunt, find two random items. Roll a D6, on a 1 or 2 get attacked by a plant, lose a life point and a sanity point. A vine shoots out from deep inside an alien looking plant and wraps around the players arm. They need to find a way to persuade it to detach, flame or heavy object.

9.       Cargo Bay

Can find three random items if crowbar open the crates. (or use some other alternative tool). In a dark corner there is a pair of yellow eyes peeking out of the darkness. If the player investigates a small brown furry ball of teeth and claws jumps out at them. It is the ships cat. Sanity check.

1       Medical Bay

Lazer scalpel, microscope, examination bed, xray machine, one random item. If look at the swimming certificate with the microscope, they will discover a secret message:

“Agent K, your alter ego will be Technician First Class Nancy. Your mission is to sabotage this ship and ensure it doesn’t reach it’s destination. You will be brought out of hypersleep early before the rest of the crew and your handler ship will dock with the SS Glacierego and collect you after you have achieved your mission. They will not know your face, so make sure you are wearing orange moonboots to be identified or you will be disintegrated along with the rest of the crew.”

1    Bridge (Green lock)

From the view screen you can see you are in deep space. Nowhere near any planets. The communication panel has been smashed. The ships computer is showing the autopilot is active and locked out. On the computer screen is the following message:

“As you are aware and agreed to when you signed up with the company, the company pre-programmed your ships autopilot with an agreed destination. Any attempts to interfere with this course may result in breach of contract as agreed with the company and forfeiture of all funds arranged via contract.

Have a nice day.”

.       Workshop

Flashlight, crowbar, lascutter, green keypass. When a player first walks in to the room if it hasn’t been disabled by another player, a work laser fires up as they enter. They need to successfully dodge this on a 4+, or 5+ if Grurgan. If they fail to dodge it roll another dice:

1 – lose an arm. -2 sanity and can only carry one thing from now on.

2- lose a hand. -2 sanity and can only carry two things from now on.

3-6  – lose a couple of fingers -1 sanity.

Keypasses.

These lock and unlock certain doors.

Red – Captains Cabin and armoury

Orange – Engine Room

Green – Bridge

GM Notes.

The GM can decide how easy or hard to make the session for the players. Start with all the doors locked, or some locked. If the players aren’t really doing much, feel free to just insert random events anyway. This scenario is not designed to be fair to the players, please make this clear at the start to them, especially if they are used to playing an RPG where the GM always makes sure they get away with things all the time. This is more of a one shot and characters are expected to die. If they do die too soon in the session, feel free to bring them back as a Simuloid. Simuloids however are not exactly stable and so only have 5 life and 5 sanity points. They also have a limited life span of around 5 years, so the character really hasn’t “won” the game if they end as a Simuloid.

Tell the players things about their characters that are visible (ie what race they are or if they have a bionic limb) Don’t tell them anything else, let them find it out as they go on. Give them advantages on tasks that their characters have when they try those tasks.

Feel free to randomly turn off oxygen and/or lights or lock doors to "encourage" players to interact more if they are just staying hidden.

If the players ask the computer outright who they are:

“Personnel files are currently locked for the Captains eyes only whilst in Amber alert status.”

If a player keeps re-using a dispensing machine to “stock-pile” items:

“You have run out of company credits. More credits will be issued at your next salary credit hour.”

Depending on what you want to share with each player what the others are up to, you can advise they can see on cctv screens dotted about the ship what the others are up to.

You can end the session with the following:

Twenty marines in grey with gold trim carapace armour march through the airlock into the ship. Behind them a tall dark strange man in full length dark robes follows. A brass vid recorder floating by his head.

“This ship is now under quarantine by the Marshall Law of the Space Inquisition. All crew are to be sterilized and have their memories wiped before being returned to natural population.  Please exit the ship in single file by the airlock and await further instructions.”

 

Random Events

D10	Event
1	All the ship lights go out for one turn. Anyone without a personal light source sanity check
2	One random room lights go out for one turn. Anyone without a personal light source in that room sanity check
3	All the ship lights go out for a two turns. Anyone without a personal light source sanity check
4	One random room lights go out for two turns. Anyone without a personal light source in that room sanity check
5	The ship briefly purges all the oxygen. Anyone not with a gas mask or space suit lose two life points.
6	The ship decides to start the self destruct sequence, self destruct will happen in 5 minutes (5 turns.) Everyone take a sanity check. If anyone can get the Captains hand on a computer in the bridge or hypersleep chamber, it will stop.
7	The ship randomly locks one room. If player locked in that room, sanity check.
8	The ship locks all the doors. Crew will need to “persuade” doors to open.
9	The ship unlocks all doors.
10	The ship briefly purges oxygen from one room. Crew in that room lose one life.

Random Food

D10	Item	Health Restored
1	Chilli hot sauce	-1
2	Pot Noodle	-1
3	Bonjella gum ointment	0
4	Beer Milkshake	0
5	Flying Saucers	1
6	Packet of dry roasted peanuts (beware of nut allergy)	1
7	Packet marked “Soylent Green”	1
8	Ameglian Major Cow Steak	2
9	Triple Fried egg, chilli chutney sandwich	3
10	Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster	3 (but lose 1 Sanity)

Random items

D20	Item	Damage	Notes
1	Axe	2
2	Camera	0
3	Chap stick	0	+1 sanity, 1 use
4	Crow bar	1
5	First aid kit		+5 health points, 1 use
6	Flash light	1
7	Gas mask
8	Goggles (infra red)
9	Hammer	2
10	Lantern, electric
11	Lighter, hand
12	Deodorant
13	Space suit		Protects wearer when there is no oxygen
14	Shovel	2
15	Lascutter	3
16	Flask of promethium	3
17	Combi tool	1
18	Squash racket	0
19	Lazer scalpel	1
20	Combi tool	1

Random weapons

D20	Weapon	Damage	Notes
1	Knife	1
2	Iron bar	1
3	Garrot wire	1
4	Lazer sword	4
5	Fire axe	2
6	Lazpistol	2
7	Needle pistol	2
8	Flamethrower	4
9	Holowhip	1
10	Sonic rifle	1
11	Sonic grenade	1
12	Vomit grenade	0	Can’t do anything but vomit for one turn
13	Hallucinogen grenades	0	Disorientate for three turns
14	Chloroform	0	Knock out for two turns
15	Stun gun	0	Knock out for one turn
16	Lazrifle	2
17	Corkscrew	1
18	Hyperdermic needle	0	Knock out for two three turns
19	Chainsaw	5
20	Missile launcher	20

The show that never happened

As you probably know as I write this I should be delving into my post Salute shopping spoils as I'm sure you all expected to be too. At least we can know that the Excel centre is being used for a useful role in this current crisis as it has been converted so quickly into a temporary hospital. We sometimes forget how resourceful our armed forces can be and once again we are in their debt.

So hobbywise it's been a bit quiet at Chez Lead. My normal painting area is now my work desk during the week, so paints only come out at the weekend. I have got some painting done though, including some quality time with the youngest painting his own toy soldiers at the same time. Firstly something I finished a while ago.

I've painted up my cheap GW magazine models and put them on square bases. I've gone for a muted colour scheme to give a ghostly appearance.

Next something that has been on my painting table for some time now. I'm like a stuck record sometimes going on about my Napoleonic project. Well, I've finished something for it.

Prussian Cavalry from Front Rank

Field Marshall Blucher from Front Rank

Comandante Moreno - from Bad Squiddo

I don't normally photograph unfinished, but I'm proud of this civilian from Front Rank. Anyone got a sudden desire to eat some fudge chocolate?

I'm tempted now to get some Spanish Infantry, although I really should paint the giant pile of Prussian infantry I have before buying any more Napoleonics.

I've also finished another Bad Squiddo model. I bought Athena to use for Ospreys Of Gods and Mortals with some Spartans I already have.

Athena - From Bad Squiddo

It is difficult to know what to do in this troubled time. The obvious things, stay indoors, only shop for essentials are easy to do. But what about keeping the economy going? Should we be mail ordering? If we don't keep buying from the little companies, will there be anyone traders left for us to come and see at Salute 2021?  Games Workshop have shut down shop for the time being, (bad timing as they have suddenly become Hollywood cool, see here.) but a lot of the other companies are still trading. I obviously want to continue to support the trade, I'd believe a day at Salute for some companies pretty much keeps them going the rest of the year. I also don't want to expose my postie to unneccessary risk, however. Like most of yourselves I'm sure, I have a lead pile to get through already so I am going to concentrate on clearing down my to do pile, but also I have made some purchases to keep me out of mischief.

Heroquest, in, space....

I bought myself a copy of Star Saga, a bargain from Mantic Games, half price at £25. I'd thought about buying this last year when it was full price. Firstly, although my wife is fully supportive of my hobby, she probably won't want to play this with me, so the one player option seemed like a good idea for isolation time. The box is crammed with miniatures including this lovely chap that I will definitely find use for in other systems.

 

So spiky just holding the model hurts.

The box also comes with a whole load of scatter terrain pieces that I have already made a start on painting. They will come in handy for use playing Rogue Stars or Reality's Edge as well. Not too shabby a purchase really.

Just a couple of the loads of pieces of terrain you get in the box

I have treated myself to a new lamp which has yet to arrive. My daylight bulb finally gave up the ghost and to be honest it was a good excuse to go LED as I have been sweating under the heat of the old style bulb for a few years now. If I'm going to spend my summer stuck in doors painting I'd rather not boil when doing it.

For those worrying about the Illustrious Opponent, he is doing okay. I'm sure he won't mind me mentioning he got a care package the other day from his family that consisted of an Easter egg and about ten airfix kits to keep him from being bored. (Should take him less than a week.) We see each other on Zoom once a week for our group D&D session and I keep him up to date on my Napoleonics, he keeps me up to date on his WW2 painting. 

So, stay safe all. Look out for each other (from a distance). I love that to me this hobby has become more than just the painting and the games. Online I have found a group of likeminded individuals that chat about more than just the hobby. I think in this unusual time using our hobby to keep in touch with the outside world is good for mental health. If you're stuck indoors and want to talk toy soldiers then get in touch, sometimes I think this hobby is more than just playing with lead.

Self Isolation

Well Spring has begun, the lambs are frolicking, the sun is out and heating has been turned down slightly. I wasn't going to post anything about our current predicament with Covid-19 as many comments have been made, but it felt weird not commenting.

As wargamers and readers of military history we are all fully aware of the limits of human sacrifice that our forefathers went through. As many have commented, all we are being asked to do is stay at home and wash our hands. We've all got lead mountains to get through and in the age of internet plenty to keep us entertained. (I wonder if Disney Plus will be able to cope with demand on launch day, Tuesday.) Yet we also know it's not gonna be that easy. I for one find my mental health is helped by looking forward to that next exciting thing in my life, whether it be seeing family, going to a wargame show, getting together with the Illustrious Opponent for some WW2. Not knowing when these things are going to happen next is hard. 

My health (although not horrific) does put me in the at risk category, so I'm working from home. My job supports key workers, so that helps me feel like I am contributing. It can be hard though when broadband demand and cheaper home kit means everything takes that little bit longer. Plus it's hard to step away from the computer at five o'clock when you know you could help one more person so their job. 

At least I'm lucky enough to have a job to keep working at. My thoughts are with all those self employed and small companies, especially wargame/boardgame companies obviously. I hope they all ride the storm and their absence won't be felt next year when shows start up again. 

Yes, we play with toy soldiers and that may seem trivial in this current crisis but playing with toy soldiers has introduced me to a community that I know will help ride this storm with the same kindness and community that I always see online and at shows over the years. If we stick together (but not too close) and look out for each other. I'm sure we'll get through this.

If you want to do something practical, donate to your local soup kitchen (they may have an Amazon wish list or a drop off point If you can get anything at your local Co-op while you are out.)  

Or donate to one here.

Labyrinth the Adventure game - A review

I've been looking forward to this book arriving for months now. Full disclosure, I am a big fan of the movie, I listen to the soundtrack a lot and a Labyrinth RPG book would have to be pretty badly written to disappoint me.

 

As I opened the non descript cardboard package from River Horse that arrived this week I was a little disappointed. Not by the book that I had ordered, but by the lack of pomp and ceremony of it's arrival. I don't know why, I guess maybe just because I have been looking forward to the arrival of this book for so long that when it did arrive I felt like maybe a little less care had been taken than maybe it could have been. Don't get me wrong, the book is lovely, I'll get to that in a moment. Maybe it was just the anticipation had built up so much, that a plain brown cardboard package just didn't do it justice. Why was it not delivered by a white Barn Owl in the midst of a dark and stormy evening?

The book came bubble wrapped and in a plain brown cardboard sleeve, so no damage, but there was nothing else in there. Maybe I've just been spoilt by other mail order companies in the past where little extra details are added to the order. When I pre-ordered direct from River Horse I was pleasantly surprised to discover that they told me they would be sending me a free Tails of Equestria Starter set with the order. A nice little bonus I wasn't expecting. I haven't received it. I have messaged them and hopefully they will get back to me. Maybe they wanted to rush out the Labyrinth book and they didn't have enough of the other item ready. If so, fair enough, it was just a freebie extra and I'd rather get my book sooner.  *update, River Horse have rectified the issue and it has now arrived.

On to the book itself then, well I am not disappointed. It is a carefully curated work of art. There are a few things that made me wrinkle my brow a little, but on the whole I am happy with my purchase. Firstly, as suggested, I took off the thick card dust jacket to see the book inside. It is cardboard rather than paper, so I guess you could use it as a GM screen, but there aren't any tables printed on the inside. The book inside though has a lovely tactile velvet touch cover in the style of the book from the movie.

 

 

 There is a bookmark included with handy notes for the Goblin King, (The Games Master.) the kind of things you would print on the inside of a GM screen? The book has three page marker ribbons, a nice useful touch. The rules specifically require you to use one of the them for saving the players progress, so having three of them will most definitely come in handy.

 

 

Inside the book each page has a cut away section making a pocket to hold a pair of dice. The dice themselves have the numbers debossed and the number ones are replaced with owls. At first they felt a little light, but the curious geek in me got the scales out and compared them to a chessex dice of the same size and there is less than a gram difference in it. (less than my scales could measure anyway.)

 

 

On to the book itself. It is a complete RPG system in one, the rules themselves are quite simple to learn. A D6 based system, like most RPGs the GM (or Goblin King) gives the players a target figure and they roll a dice to try and achieve that number. Rolling an owl always fails. The characters traits, flaws, equipment or general situation around you make it easier or harder. If it is easier you roll two dice and pick the highest, harder roll two dice and pick the lower. A bit like rolling with Advantage/Disadvantage in D&D fifth edition. Your friends helping you also take a number off your target number.  There aren't any combat rules which may disappoint some players, but it's not really that kind of adventure.

The main appeal of the book however, is the scenes. The book is really actually a giant adventure or module and could easily be used for any roleplaying system. There are a hundred scenes in the book (I think my maths is right?) each one is a puzzle for the players to solve and they don't necessarily encounter each and every one, so there is definitely repeat play value in the book. There are some familiar places including, an Oubliette, The Ball Room and the Humongous guarding the entrance to the Goblin City. Each scene includes a beautifully drawn map that can also be downloaded in PDF form from the River Horse website. After the scenes there is a toolkit for expanding the world, which basically consists of a few tables and descriptions of more characters from the Labyrinth.

 

Finally at the end of the book there is a Gallery of photos from the film, a strange addition in my opinion. I can't imagine anyone purchasing this book doesn't own the blu-ray or DVD, in fact at the beginning of the book it suggests watching the film as prep work for the Goblin King.

I wouldn't recommend this book to a first time GM (or GK) as there are a few scenes that expect the GM to fill out a some big gaps but with some confidence and possibly a blonde punky Bowie wig this book will definitely allow a GM make a great tribute to an awesome film.

On writing

A sideways jump from the usual topics dear reader, but I hope no less interesting. I've been thinking about content, ownership and copyright. Now I'm no legal eagle and I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty of that side of things, but when talking content you can't not brush up against the sweaty backpack carrying, black T-shirt wearing, monster that is copyright.

When I was a youngster playing Advanced Heroquest and there was no internet, (believe it kids!) once we had played the standard quests that came with the rules and the issues of White Dwarf I'd purchased, we made up our own. Now if I passed those on to a friend at school, would it be okay for one of GW's lawyers to step in and throw a cease and desist on me for doing so? Of course not and I would never suggest they would have done anything of the sort. Now in the age of internet, we all are writing extra scenarios and home rules for the products we play and then sharing them with "friends" across the world. Is it the same? Well, most likely not, if we're honest. It's probably a legal grey area and I'm no expert, I'm not claiming to be. Most companies probably allow it as it encourages their own product, only getting involved if they feel it gives their company a bad name. Then what if I had a blog full of Heroquest scenarios and it became super popular (just bear with me and pretend okay?) and I had thousands of readers and decided to monetorise my blog? I turn on Google Earnings and watch the pennies come in. Is that wrong? Well of course it is, I'd be making money off a property owned by GW. It's my work, but using their intellectual property. Yes it's a big company, but actually there are shareholders, hell I might even know some. I owe them some bank. Don't I? 

It's even easier to consider if I flip the scenario, if it were my own fictional universe, I think I would want some control at least. I guess I would be flattered if I wrote a sci fi novel and someone put some fan made rpg rules on the web set in my universe. If however they completely messed with my characters and changed them to how they felt they should act instead of staying in the spirit of the story I would be cheesed off. If they were selling those rules, or making money off their website where they were published? I'd be calling my solicitor. (or investigating if I could afford to call a solicitor.)

The lines become fainter when you are looking at historical wargaming. There is no intellectual property, just historical facts. But there are rules. How many different ways can you roll dice to get random results? Do you go with multiple sided dice or try and stick to easily available D6? I've dabbled in writing my own rules, sometimes "Frankensteining" others systems, sometimes starting from scratch. (The dream to publish an original work may happen one day.

) Sometimes I have to ask myself am I using a rule mechanic just because it is original or does it actually make the game work? The main thing I find is that all the best game mechanics have already been done. 

Of course the rules I do write that are original, I then have to decide whether to publish on here for free or clutch on to them with the hope they may have some potential for publication one day. Are they good enough? Are they original enough to not put me in copyright legal wranglings?

Luckily I don't have to worry too much about these scenarios. 

A. I'm not really on the radar of anyone right now, having a blog that has a minimal readership. (I don't even get Spam comments in my blog.)

2. I don't make any money off this, I do it for the ego of people reading my ramblings.

iii. I don't really have anything good enough yet for anyone to steal from.

So, to wrap up on this topic. I recently entered a competition to write a piece of fiction for the intro to a fantasy rulebook and my entry was not successful. (Obviously not otherwise you all would have heard about it already so much!) So, after putting a lot of effort into to the writing, I was wondering whether to hold on to the text and tweak it for some future use. Then I decided that it shouldn't sit on a hard drive but be out there to be read and I should move on and write something new. After all it isn't my universe I was writing about. So below is my short story. As always please comment at the bottom of the blog, I love feedback, it proves people are reading this and not just the spambots. Also it shows you have survived to the end. 

Dark Lord Dunmharu.

“The Gargoyles are restless my Lord!” Tareth the Mage shuffled into the candlelit throne room of the Dark Lord Dunmharu. The old Elf clutched the wall, hurrying to approach the master with his news. He eventually found himself at the foot of the throne and collapsed into a heap. “Something approaches.”

Dunmharu heeded the old man’s counsel. He may have lost his sight, but he saw in many other ways. 

“Show me.” Said the Dark Lord.

Tareth reached into his cloak and pulled out a corked bottle of liquid, throwing the contents onto the floor and muttering dark incantations. Images appeared in the puddle. A strange creature with features of a rat, but the size of a man, stood upright, walking on two feet. Clad 

in crude leather armour and carrying a rusty sabre, the creature’s red eyes shone in the almost darkness of the cellar in which it crept.

“What do you see, Master?”

“I know not. But I will not have it wandering about my cellars.” The Lord beckoned one of 

his guards and gestured to the image in the pool of liquid. “Find this creature and bring it to me.”

Once it had been found and brought before him Dunmharu asked the creature, “Do you speak?” Clad in chains, four guards stood around the beast, it struggled to break free. 

“I ssspeak.” Replied the rat.

“What are you?”

“I ssspeak.” The rat repeated. It hissed at the Dark Lord and struggled against its captors once more. The chief guard struck it across the back with the flat of his halberd and it stopped. 

“We Ratkin. We essscape.”

Dunmharu climbed down from his throne and approached the creature, he was curious where this Ratkin had come from, it was no creature of Pannithor that he knew of. Had those foul, bearded Dwarves been tinkering with nature again? It certainly had the stench of the Abyss. 

Dunmharu lifted its arm. The Ratkin’s scars, old and new, around its neck and wrists spoke of a life of captivity.

“Where have you come from?” he asked, examining a tattoo on its forearm. 

“We essscape.”

“I tire of it.” Said Dunmharu, “Take it away and throw it in an oubliette. Maybe if we find more out in the Wastes, we can put them to work.”

The Ratkin was dragged away screaming in protest. Dunmharu slouched back in his throne, Blind Tareth stood to go. “With your leave, I will retire, sire.”

“Of course, Tareth. You’ve earned a rest.”

Tareth began towards the exit, his stick scraping the flagstones to guide his way. Before he reached the door, a shadow dropped from the ceiling, knocking the old man forward towards 

the floor. The shadow was a second Ratkin, dressed in black rags. As Tareth fell the Ratkin drew a dagger across his neck. The blade did not cut deep, but the old man was dead moments after he hit the ground.

“Dirty Ssspellcasster!” screeched the second Ratkin. Dunmharu was already on his feet, sword drawn. The guards at the door were not as quick to react, but soon drew their blades and advanced on the creature.

“Leave it. This is my sport.” Commanded the Dark Lord, taking a step forward. His long, curved sword held out, arm up, blade pointed down. “How many of you are creeping about my halls?”

The rat bared yellow teeth, drew a second longer blade and leapt at Dunmharu. The Dark Lord parried the first strike. This creature showed some skill with the sword. The Ratkin managed to break away and pass through under his blade arm, clambering up onto the throne 

to gain some height. As the two swords clashed Dunmharu could see trace of poison had been applied to the edge of the blade, he knew he would have to avoid even a superficial cut from 

this assassin’s attacks. Kicking out the throne from under the Ratkin, parrying a lunge and a remise from the acrobatic beast, Dunmharu quickly lost interest in the humour of the fight.

He put all his strength behind a wrath blow down towards the Ratkin’s shoulder. The rat tried to block the strike, but its blade just snapped as Dunmharu’s heavier sword followed through, killing the beast.

At that moment the candles in the hall began to snuff out one by one, until it was pitch black. 

Then from the shadows multiple pairs of red eyes began to appear about the hall. Dunmharu smiled to himself.

“Now this is getting interesting.”

Painting your models

I've mentioned many firsts on this blog. My first wargaming army (more than a few models skirmishing) that I rolled dice with was, like many a wargamer, Space Marines. I'd read battle reports in White Dwarf of second edition 40K between Blood Angels and Orks and so the classic red look Spam had appealed to me. Blood Angels, painted Blood red, not rocket science really. I can see why a lot of beginner hobbyists began with Spam, you can get away with a simple paint job and then you improve your skills taking on the more complicated looking character pieces.

Once confidence set in, I decided to take on vehicles and a Dreadnought. Wanting to speed up the process a bit I purchased a can of spray paint, Blood Angel Orange. Hang on, Orange? Thus began my education in the weird world of wargaming paints. 

So, my tanks were orange and my troops were red. Don't believe me the colour existed? I have a pot I found at a car boot sale more recently.

Yep, that's a tube of Beattie glue as well. I'm keeping it preserved for prosperity.

Sometimes I check my paint box and grumble at the number of pots that have dried up and despair at how quickly it has happened, then remember that they are probably four or five years old and it's been six months since my last check. Then I counter that argument with myself by pointing out the twenty five year old pot of Polished Blue that has not dried up. Why can't they all be like Polished Blue! (Good old reliable, discontinued Polished Blue.) Then I cry tears into the dried paint as I realise I have been doing this hobby for a quarter of a century. Then the tears make the paint useable again and all is good in the world.

Remember these? Yep, still not painted them. You've all got some in a box somewhere, reminding you how long you've been playing.

Another sign of ageing is the number of times I have mourned the loss of a favourite colour, oh they tell you it's been replaced by an identical colour with just a different name, they show you the colour conversion chart but it's just not quite the same colour is it? Yes I've been taking my sweet time painting my current project (normally counted in months or years) but I need to colour match exactly.

Found some of these once in a toyshop on holiday, bought their entire stock as the colour was discontinued in the official GW stores.

I'm not blaming any one company either. I've tried other companies too. Coat D'arms are a good alternative if you miss the good old GW days but even they have problems sometimes.

Split lid? It's fine, the dried up paint makes a good seal to keep the rest of the paint fresh!

Then of course if you want to avoid all the issues of lids, why not try a pot with a dropper top? That's fine, but I always end up putting more on my pallet than I actually need.

These are all grumpy old man problems really. No-one can expect paints to last forever, even if the old school ones do. As for actual coverage and pigment matching, don't get me started...

Clearing out some space

There is an excellent scene in the movie Incredibles where Helen Parr calls her husband to announce they are officially moved in. She has finally unpacked the last box following their last house many months ago. I sometimes feel like that's how we are going to be, it's incredible how much stuff one can accumulate over the years and I'll openly take the blame myself. 

It's really hard to throw things away. Sometimes its easier to think there may be a future project use for that spare bit of mdf or sprue. That obscure mimeograph copy of old tank warfare rules found at a second hand book sale will be played one day. Every time I put together a box set of 36 plastic British line infantry I carefully snip off all the spare unused bits from sprues and squirrel them away somewhere in case I need them. (please don't stop giving us all these choices however, Michael and Alan, I'm certainly not complaining.) Sometimes I even paint the parts on the sprue, so I have tubs full of already painted British infantry arms like some bizarre field surgery dumping ground. Multiply this by all the kits I own (also taking up valuable limited storage space) you can see why I have to have a purge every now and then.

At one point my "bits box" filled a 90 litre storage box. When would I ever start a project that needed that many arm swaps? That's weirdly what most of it was, human arms, ork arms, space marine arms, hormagaunt arms. I guess I could have made a 1/56 scale model of a section of Jim Henson's Labyrinth?

I promised myself I wouldn't start any painting or modelling until I had finished clearing the old flat and tonight I can comfortably say that task is finally finished, with a lot of help from the Father and Brother in law.  So I can allow myself the luxury of trying to find the box with the paints and brushes in now. Of course I am also fully aware that I also made myself public promises to get some more Napoleonic models painted ready for September and the new year has brought that deadline looming into focus. It will be here before we know it. If you see me at Salute in April, ask me how my Prussians are coming on.

In a serendipitous moment, the last personal item I moved from the old home was a wargaming item. Left on a windowsill to be carried as he wouldn't fit in a box and almost forgotten, my 28mm scale Orky Stomper was squeezed into a plastic dustbin for protection and brought across in the final run. He was pretty much the last thing to leave the flat.

This chap is a reason I do keep some things in a bit box. Made from an old Land Raider, a Spam Land Speeder, some plasticard and bits from a Poundland toy, this old scratch build predates the official GW kit. My only reference came from the Epic scale Stomper.

So, sometimes it is worth keeping the odd bits and bobs, recycling and all. But also bear in mind, it might be worth having the odd sort through your bits box every now and then. You might even find a complete kit or two you can sell at a bring and buy stall.